Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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