I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
