1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
