so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize