Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
