No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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