We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
