so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
