well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
