Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
