i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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