They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
