They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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