What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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