I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
