It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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