Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize