Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
