Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize