arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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