school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
