ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
