Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
