Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize