conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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