i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
