i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Are my feet made of real feet?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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