I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
