I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
