there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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