zippers are such a cool invention
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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