Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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