He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
