did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
