Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize