how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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