I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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