I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize