so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
