Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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