god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
