My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
