According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
