why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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