I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
