i jhust puked up my retainher.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
