It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
