Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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