whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
