We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
