its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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