tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
