I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
