Duck Duck Cougar?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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