good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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