Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
