If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
