Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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