I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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