dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
