if i can run in heels then i can drive
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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