We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize