ya dads aren't the best wingmen
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
