.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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