you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
