I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
